I've heard of yerba mate. Rumors whisper of a tea-like substance brewed in South America, which is supposed to infuse godlike powers into those consuming it. It has a fair amount of caffeine, as well as some of the same complex chemicals found in chocolate. It's made by steeping the leaves and twigs of a certain plant in hot water for a while, so it's kind of like tea.
It is said in the sacred texts that:
"...the strength of the one who consumes the yerba mate shall be twice that of an ordinary man, and his speed shall likewise be that of two men. Strength and speed, being two principal virtues of the warrior, lie as the two strong legs of a wall, forming a space between like that formed in a square. This is why the scholars call it a "right angle", for it is full of virtue. The warrior's virtue is like unto a line connecting the extent of his strength and speed. How, then, shall we measure this virtue?
The virtue of a warrior is like unto his strength multiplied again upon itself, plus his speed likewise multiplied, since they build upon themselves. However, the true warrior also possesses humility before the gods, and so must reduce himself according to his own measure. His virtue shall thus be measured as the square root of the sum of the squares of his strength and speed, and thus the holy yerba mate makes a warrior like unto a man with virtue twice his own, multiplied again by virtue equal to that of the square root of his doubled virtue."
--from the ancient Peruvian text "The Geometry of Bloodshed".
Imagine my excitement at finding a Weird Soda based on yerba mate! After quaffing it, I shall be like 2(root 2) Weird Soda Reviewers!
Where and when: purchased 4/11/09 at Galco's, Los Angeles.
Color: orangey-brown. Maybe slightly greenish at the edges.
Scent: sweet, with a bit on tang and tiny hint of bitter. Similar to the Guarana Antarcticá.
Taste: Interesting. Surprisingly clean, not as cloying as the scent made me suspect. Sweet, not all that strong, with the initial tart fading quickly to a sort of berryish taste. That fades quickly too. Pleasant. The aftertaste is faint, slightly tart, with only the barest hint of herbal or bitter. It's a little like the Sidral Mundet.
The Kibbitzer-in-Chief says it tastes like Red Zinger tea. I think it's a little less tart than that, but the undertones are very similar.
There's a very delayed aftertaste; the slight tart/herbal made a surprise encore around 3-4 minutes after my taste. I've never had such a delayed yet distinct aftertaste before.
I figured that after quaffing this, I should go out and demonstrate my 2(root 2)-times-normal strength and speed to the world.
I'm never trusting ancient Peruvian warrior mathematicians again.
Quaff rating:3.5 for the taste. -25 for the embarrassment caused by my naive trust of Peruvian warrior mathematicians.
Cough rating: 0.5. Maybe just for the slightly strong sweetness.
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