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Friday, July 10, 2009

Looks Like Orange, Tastes Like Grape

"Well, Quaffmaster? And how dost thou like adventuring?"
"Oh, it's marvelous, your grace. But it's peculiar..."
"To me, this grape-tasting soda looks exactly like an orange soda, such as I have had with Taco Bell."
"Well, like beauty, my friend, 'tis all in the eye of the beholder. Only wait, thou shalt quaff amazing things!"
"What kind?"
"Cucumbers and cherries, colas and chocolate egg cream, a cavalcade of bottled Weirdness as far as the eye can see."
"They sound dangerous!"
"Ah, they are dangerous. But one there will be to lead them, and he shall be most dangerous of all."
"Who is he?"
"The great Biotta. Beware him, Quaffmaster, for his scent is foul and his spirit fouler. He is a scourge upon all which is quaffable. But one day we shall meet!"
"Well, I wouldn't get upset, your grace."*

And that's how I came to be who I am today. Or something like that.
Back in my early days as Quaffmaster, I received a Weird soda called "Looks Like Orange, Tastes Like Grape". While I did not provide a review, I have a dim memory that it did, indeed, look like orange. As to what it tasted like, I can't vouch for that.
Until now.
You see, the Mysterious Stranger doesnt seem to take summer vacation. In my campus mailbox, I found yet another marvelous gift; a fresh bottle of Looks Like Orange, Tastes Like Grape. At last, I can redeem myself for my failure to review it before. I do have a slight fear that the review will end with "Looks Like Orange, Tastes Like Crap", but we'll see.

Where and when: a gift from the Mysterious Stranger, July 2009
Color: Well, I guess I have to say it. It...looks like Orange. Slightly cloudy, fairly rich red-orange.
Scent: Interesting. Definitely grape-ish, quite sweet. Slight hint of bubble gum.
Taste: Doesn't exactly taste like grape. Sweet, light, and cool. Grape-esque, berryish. As the foretaste dissipates, a moderately tart aftertaste comes up; orangelike. A nice taste. Less acid than most other graoe sodas. This is more like actual Concord grape juice, with extra sweetener. The sugar is recognizably cane sugar, rather than corn syrup. A pleasant surprise, really.

Quaff rating: 3.5. Pleasant but unremarkable.
Cough rating: 0.5. Not much to object to.

*I have a nearly obsessive affection for Man of La Mancha, by Dale Wasserman, Joe Darion and Mitch Leigh. This comes from that.


  1. Looks like orange soda, tastes like orange soda. The way it should be.

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