Visvita Juice House Aloe Vera Juice

For some reason, at the moment we here at the Lab are long on non-Soda juices. But that doesn't mean we're short on Weirdness--oh, no, certainly not. For what do I see before me now?

Aloe Vera juice.

Yes indeed, a bottle of Aloe Vera juice, from a company called Visvita. It is distributed by Chimex Produce Co., and is a "Product of Korea", so I'm not sure exactly what role Visvita plays in the process...but that's beside the point.
The other day, I sustained minor burns to my hands in an ill-fated attempt to make chili in the Lab kitchen. (While I am expert in quaffing Weird things, a cook I am not). Aloe vera seemed appropriate at that point, but it never occurred to me to try an internal route of administration. Perhaps between a topical gel and a Weird aloe vera beverage, I can deal with the burn from both sides?

Looking at the ingredients list, the Weirdness becomes even more evident. This drink contains--and I quote (bold emphasis is mine)--

Aloe Vera Gel Power (12%), Aloe Vera Crush (8%), Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Calcium Lactate, Vitamin C, Water

Apparently, they found a way to extract the Gel Power from aloe vera. And soon, its power shall be MINE! ALL MINE! MUA HA HA HA HA! THEY CALLED ME MAD AT OXFORD, TOO!

Er. Sorry. Further evidence of the Weirdness of this beverage can be found simply by looking at it. It is chock-full of floating wisps of some lacy, translucent stuff. I'm not sure of that's the Aloe Gel Power or Aloe Crush; I'm guessing the Crush, not knowing what raw Power looks like.

Really, given the color of the bottle (bright lime green), and the ingredients (Power and Crush), this is some sort of Weird Hulk Juice.

HULK QUAFF! AND NOW HULK SOOTHED WITH NICE SKIN!

Where: Purchased at Mitsuwa Market, West Los Angeles, CA
Color: Very, very pale green, almost clear. Lots of little wisps.
JAT: "Clear, with a bunch of greenish-grey...stuff."
K-i-C: "Have you ever looked into an emesis tray?"
Scent: Citrusy, but not very sharp. A bit lime-ish.
JAT: "Ginger ale-ish."
K-i-C: "A grapefruit soda kind of smell. Actually, it smells a lot like the Trident I'e been chewing lately."
Taste: Tastes just like it smells. The taste is pretty nice, actually...and then I feel the first of the little bits of floaty gunk hit my lip. In solution, it looks like tiny scraps of paper.
It's not.
They're thick, and jellyish. Very similar to what was in the Tsubutsubu Jelly Drink. And just as off-putting now as they were then.
JAT: "It's very hard to explain." *swigs, discovers bit of slimy goo.* "What's this stuff?"
Me: "I think it's aloe vera."
K-i-C: "You hope that's aloe vera."

The overall taste is good--lime/orange citrus, mellow, with a pleasant smoothness. But I'd recommend quaffing quickly, so the fragments of nameless horrors don't have a chance to get a grip on the walls of your esophagus, coalesce into something formless and horrid, and take over your brain.

Quaff rating: 3.5 for the taste. 1.5 for the texture. Let's call it 2.5.
Cough rating: 1.5; doesn't make me want to puke, but somehow, I feel as if it should.