Date: August 3, 2014
Where bought: North
Topeka Arts Walk, Topeka, KS, from Soda Works
There comes a time
in the life of every Quaffmaster when he or she* must, like a
spawning salmon, return to the waters of his or her** birth***.
Feeling this soul-deep summons, I persuaded the Lab staff that it was
time for us to make a journey from Vista, California to Topeka,
Kansas. And what better way to cross the great American southwest
desert in late July/early August than by driving across it?
Having agreed that
this was the best plan of all possible plans which have ever been
planned, we rented a car*****, loaded up a lot of stuff, and set
course for the town where I spent the first eighteen years of my
life.
By a somewhat
indirect route, of course. Why take a road trip if you're not going
to see some stuff? In this case, "some stuff" included Las
Vegas, chicken fried steak, unexpected summer desert rainstorms, the
Great Salt Lake, the Temple Square, our life flashing before our eyes
on a Utah interstate merging, Dinosaur National Monument, a vague
view of I-70 through a curtain of rain and mist as we skidded down
the Vail Pass in a driving rainstorm, giant voyeuristic bears, warm
greetings and yummy food from dear family, another friend who I had
only ever spoken to online, several hours' worth of the inside of a
tire repair shop in Estes Park, unexpected waterfalls, wrong turns,
wind farms, Kanorado, giant stone phalluses, decadently huge
sandwiches, sphinxes, and (most recently) dominoes.
And, not entirely
unexpectedly given who I am, Weird soda.
As we strolled
through the North Topeka First Friday Art Walk, a bag containing a
highly artistic wire sculpture of an octopus swinging merrily from my
arm, my eyes chanced across a street cart at which beverages were
being vended. The cart bore the logo of SodaWorks, a Topeka company I
had only heard of, which sold Weird sodas. This meeting was clearly
destined, and so I strode boldly forth to peruse their wares.
Magnificence.
Not only did they
have wit as sparkling as their beverages, they had two I had never
even heard of before. Obviously, I had to purchase these and report
on them for you, my readers******. So with my hat off to SodaWorks,
let's get to the quaffing.
Spiffy: A Swell
Cola Drink
Where and When: Purchased August 1, 2014 from SodaWorks at the North Topeka Arts Walk, Topeka, KS
Appearance: We
should start with the bottle.
![]() |
It rests upon the table where I ate dinner in my childhood. I think I kind of looked like that at the time, too. |
This one is from
Orca Beverage Soda Works, which I note is based in Mukilteo,
Washington. Any town which combines the concepts of "mucus"
and "kilt" in its name has got to be some place special.
The person depicted
on the bottle is cherubic and partially bald. What hair he (I am
presuming "he") has is swept dramatically back from the
widow's peak on his forehead. His tongue, protruding tentatively from
his lips, suggests that he is either licking his lips in anticipation
of the drink or giving a raspberry to the year 1934. My father (who
shall be known as Cliffhanger) was born in 1933, so I am presuming
that Mr. Spiffy, here on the bottle, is expressing his disdain for
any year following the year of Cliffhanger's birth. "Baloney,
you chizz!", says Mr. Spiffy, "No gin-fizz or giggle juice
can eighty-six the macher which is Cliffhanger! Why, I'm starry-eyed
at his moxie! But I'm just bumping gums here, cat. Abyssinia!"
Now, the appearance
of the soda itself.
Appears to be a dark
caramel-colored cola, similar to any number of others. Aside from the
smooth Joe on the label, it doesn't seem too unusual.
Taste: First attack
is sweeter than some colas, with little of the aggressive bite that
you get in more common sodas. Followed quickly by a very sharp
tartness, "orange-ish or slight lemon" in Nazgul's opinion
which dissolves into a pleasant series of aftertastes. The aftertaste
has a lot of root beer-like notes, cinnamon and vanilla.
Cliffhanger:
"Characteristic cola taste at the beginning, with a citric
highlight in the aftertaste."
Of course,
Cliffhanger can actually distinguish between wines, so his palate is
more trustworthy than mine. The fact that we broadly agree makes me
think I might have some hope for myself. Or that I should have more
wine.
Colas aren't my
favorite sodas, although I can enjoy them when they are what's at
hand. This is an unusually nice cola; smooth, without a lot of bite,
and with some complexity. Nazgul is also fond of the
not-quite-as-carbonated quality, which probably helps with the
smoothness.
Quaff rating: 3.5.
Good stuff.
Cough rating: 0.5.
Other than the very powerful citrus attack in the mid-taste, no
objections from me!
After that pleasant
surprise, I'm a little apprehensive about moving on to the next one.
It's a bit more unusual...more daring, even. But what are we, if not
courageous?*******
Dang! That's Good
Butterscotch Root Beer
This
is made by Imperial Flavors Beverage Company, in Milwaukee,
Wisconsin. I can only assume that the marketing dialogue went
something like this:
Executive:
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new soda to sell. What do we
call it?"
Marketing
Person: "We're not sure yet. We're looking for ideas."
Underling:
"Let me try some. We can base the name on the flavor."
Executive:
"Very well. Stormtroopers! Get this underling a bottle of the
latest brew!"
Underling:
"HOLY %#@!*& THAT IS THE BEST %$#*ING SODA I HAVE EVER HAD"
Executive:
"Genius! Let's go with that!"
Lawyer:
"Errrr..."
I
must admit that the original title is better, but one must make
allowances for the desire to not be arrested.
Appearance: A
slightly lighter caramel than the Spiffy, but still pretty much
brown.
![]() |
This is the table where I ate family meals for most of my pre-adult life. Coming back and doing Weird soda reviews on it feels a bit weird. |
Scent:
Interesting. The butterscotch is right on top, masking most of the
root beer smell. It's a bit darker than, say, butterscotch chips or
those hard yellow butterscotch candies, but it's pretty clear.
Taste:
This is an interesting combination. The butterscotch isn't as strong
in the taste as in the smell. It's balanced almost perfectly with
the root beer, and the balance is nice. The butterscotch has an
ever-so-slightly burned note, as if aged in oak barrels which, just
prior to being breached, were shipped to a dungeon room in which a
party of eighth-level adventurers encountered an adult red
dragon********.
On
the other hand, the good part of root beer is in the complexity of
the mid- and aftertaste, and that is completely lost here. The
butterscotch masks it completely, fading out slowly, without ever
letting it get through. It's either a very poor root beer, or it's
lost in the butterscotch; either way, I am sad.
Oh,
wait. About ten seconds after quaffing, there's a bit of mild
ickiness. A slight bitter-metallic aftertaste, and a feeling of light
coating on the roof of the mouth which persists. Unpleasant.
Overall,
while the butterscotch is fun (and I admire the balance with the
basic root beer flavor), this is disappointing.
Quaff
rating: 2.5. Meh. Good but not really good.
Cough
rating: 1.0. There is noticeable aversive stuff in the aftermath.
Our
work here is done. Time to leave Topeka, and journey back to the Lab.
Abyssinia!
* In this case,
"he".
** In this case,
"his".
*** My mother,
Rotalmomska, did not save any of the amniotic fluid in which I
gestated****, so this should be taken metaphorically.
**** please God
please God please God
***** Had we not
done this, our choices from the Lab auto pool would have been a 1994
Ford Aspire (no power steering, effectively no air conditioning, and
a vestigial back seat) or a 1998 Toyota Sienna minivan (on which I
have been practicing effectively nonexistent automotive maintenance
skills, and also lacking effective air conditioning). There is no
price that the rental car company could have charged us which would
not have been worth it.
****** I am told
that the chance of any given person reading this blog is nonzero.
Since nonzero is infinitely greater than zero (I know this is
mathematically unsound), I conclude that not only is it certain that
every single person on Earth is a reader of this blog, but also that
the existence of information describing this blog has reached Alpha
Centauri by now, and so all sentient beings there are also readers.
As Earth's ambassador to alien species, I offer my sincerest
apologies for Abali Yogurt Soda.
******* Actually, I
can think of any number of other descriptors. You probably can, too,
but I doubt I want to hear them.
******** While "800
XP" is not specifically listed in the ingredients, I think I can
taste it.
I wonder how you get your hands on these rare drinks!
ReplyDeleteIn Las Vegas there is a Coca Cola cafe where they give you a tray of drinks from all over the world.
After choosing a bottle of Spiffy at a vegetarian cafe in Minneapolis, curiosity led me to conduct a Google search of Spiffy cola, which in turn brought me here. What a great discovery
ReplyDeleteI think I enjoyed it more than you lol. I thought it tasted a lot like those Haribo cola gummies
ReplyDeleteblood pressure watch professional in R&D wearable blood pressure monitor, in the innovative form of a wrist watch, proactively monitors your heart health by turning real-time heart data into heart.
ReplyDeletemason jar lids canning lids supplier. offer canning Lids in different style and size
Cervical spine massager We aim to create a healthy lifestyle that assists every individual to de-stress, relax. unwind and streamline a pain-free life and at the same time feel and look amazing.
sex machine for her Choose Sex Machine to Get Orgasm and Enjoy Life
moving dildo Enjoy sexual life for both men and women
neon light for roomNeon Signs Light Is One-of-a-Kind Activities Designed and Hosted by Expert Locals. All Experiences are Vetted for Quality.
dog training collarsPets Supplier mall offers the ultimate pet shop experience. We have all the pet supplies, pet food, toys and accessories you and your pet needs at great prices. Find all the best pets suppliers coupons, promotion.
novelty giftsDiscover the latest and most interesting gadgets at a bargain price
Car decorationHere you will find the latest and most fashionable car accessories
sex machine
ReplyDeletefucking machines
thrusting machine
sex machine for sale
thrusting sex machine
sex machine thrusting
ReplyDeletesex machine thruster
sex machine online
sex machine for her
jessky sex machine
hismith sex machine
ReplyDeletehandheld sex machine
fucking machines for sale
female sex machine
dildo machine
I want to read more of your good articles. Well done. รีวิวเว็บสล็อตที่ดีที่สุด UFA800
ReplyDeleteGreat! I get information and many good experiences this topic.เล่นไฮโลได้เงินจริง .
ReplyDeleteเล่นไฮโลออนไลน์.
I feel like this website because it’s very helpful to know about many things.เกมไฮโลบนมือถือ.
ReplyDeleteเล่นไฮโลได้เงินจริง.
Bravo! This topic is awesome. I think it's really great.แทงไฮโล.เล่นไฮโลได้เงินจริง.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great idea! That’s nice topic to learn. คาสิโนฝากถอนไม่มีขั้นต่ำ.สมัครคาสิโน
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've seen many articles like this. But I think this is a really well done article. เว็บบาคาร่าอันดับ 1
ReplyDeleteI'm going to apply these good information and improve it even further.สมัครufabet รีวิวแทงบอลออนไลน์
ReplyDeleteGood job! That’s great idea to build this topic. It’s very helpful.
ReplyDeleteเว็บยูฟ่าเบทที่ดีที่สุด.
When it comes to famous online games, you can't escape online slots games.
ReplyDeleteambbet
I feel like this website because it’s very helpful to know about many things.ufabet.UFABET.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI unquestionably esteeming each and every piece of it and I have you bookmarked to look at new. แทงบาคาร่า
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletenice bLog! its interesting. thank you for sharing.... model cv completat
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of people who are interested to comment it.สล็อต1บาท เล่นสล็อต1บาท
ReplyDeleteIt looks really good No wonder so many people are interested.สล็อต1บาท เล่นสล็อต1บาท
ReplyDeleteToday the world has changed for the better.สล็อต1บาท เล่นสล็อต1บาท
ReplyDeleteFantastic, very good experience for learning. สล็อต1บาท สล็อตขั้นต่ำ1บาท
ReplyDeleteThe whole world should be pleased to hear about this information. สล็อต1บาท สล็อตขั้นต่ำ1บาท
ReplyDeleteAmazing , It will benefit the people who come to study about it..สล็อต1บาท สล็อตขั้นต่ำ1บาท
ReplyDeleteBallnaja.com, watch live football, watch football online, gather information on hot new sports news ambbet
ReplyDeleteI appreciate about the website and wonderful topic that so amszing to learn.
ReplyDeleteสล็อตขั้นต่ำ1บาท.สล็อต1บาท.
That’s so nice, Yours website is so very well to view.
ReplyDeleteเล่นสล็อต1บาท
สล็อต1บาท
So fantastic topic because information about this website is helpful with everybody.
ReplyDeleteเล่นสล็อต1บาท
สล็อต1บาท
So fantastic topic because information about this website is helpful with everybody.
ReplyDeleteเล่นสล็อต1บาท.สล็อต1บาท.
thank you for your interesting infomation. fivalifitness
ReplyDeleteThese are some great tools that i definitely use for SEO work. This is a great list to use in the future.. mba assignment help UK
ReplyDeleteThat’s so nice, Yours website is so very well to view.
ReplyDeleteสล็อตขั้นต่ำ1บาท.เล่นสล็อต1บาท .
Bravo! This topic is perfect,I think it's really great to read.
ReplyDeleteสล็อต1บาท. สล็อตขั้นต่ำ1บาท.
I feel like this website because it’s very helpful to know about many things.
ReplyDeleteสล็อตขั้นต่ำ1บาท. เล่นสล็อต1บาท.
Good idea, this topic shows an important knowledge that’s perfect.
ReplyDeleteเล่นสล็อต1บาท
สล็อต1บาท
moa.p743@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteBravo! This topic is perfect,I think it's really great to read.
ReplyDeleteเล่นสล็อต1บาท
สล็อต1บาท
I unquestionably esteeming each and every piece of it and I have you bookmarked to look at new. เกมไพ่
ReplyDeleteFantastic, very good experience for learning. รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์
ReplyDeleteit looks really good No wonder so many people are interested.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวสล็อตแตกง่าย
ReplyDeleteToday the world has changed for the better.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวสล็อตแตกง่าย
ReplyDeleteWohh just what I was looking for, regards for posting.กีฬาออนไลน์
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo pretty good about this title. I can bring this information to develop in my life.ค่ายสล็อตแนะนำ.เกมสล็อตค่ายดัง.
ReplyDeleteWohh just what I was looking for, regards for posting. สล็อตออนไลน์
ReplyDeleteI was entertained and well educated by this topic.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์
ReplyDeleteI can use it in everyday life.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์
ReplyDeleteConsidered a change in a good way, very cool.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวสล็อตไม่ผ่านเอเย่นต์
ReplyDeleteIt is a topic that many people are talking about today, a very good one.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวสล็อตไม่ผ่านเอเย่นต์
ReplyDeleteFortunately, learning new things is endless.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวสล็อตไม่ผ่านเอเย่นต์
ReplyDeletePerfect ,It is a very interesting story.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวสล็อตไม่ผ่านเอเย่นต์
ReplyDeleteGreat! I get information and many good experiences this topic.
ReplyDeleteเว็บคาสิโนออนไลน์อันดับ1ของโลก.คาสิโนเว็บตรง.
I appreciate about the website and wonderful
ReplyDeletetopic that so amszing to learn.
คาสิโน.เว็บพนันออนไลน์เว็บตรง.
Bravo! This topic is perfect,I think it's really great to read.คาสิโนเว็บตรง.คาสิโนออนไลน์.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this website because it’s very helpful to know about many things.เล่นสล็อตออนไลน์เว็บตรง.คาสิโนเว็บตรง.
ReplyDeleteToday the world has changed for the better. รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวค่ายสล็อต
ReplyDeleteI was entertained and well educated by this topic. รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวค่ายสล็อต
ReplyDeleteThis is such a wonderful site. I don't know how I ended up here but this site is so good. I'll definitely dig this. คาสิโน
ReplyDeleteIf you also want something interesting, visit our sites too เว็บคาสิโนออนไลน์อันดับ1ของโลก
The best article I came across a number of years, write something about it on this page. เว็บพนันออนไลน์เว็บตรง
ReplyDeleteLook at my webpage คาสิโนออนไลน์
I am happy to find this post very useful for me, as it contains lot of information. I like the way you composed this data. คาสิโนเว็บตรง
ReplyDeleteLook at my webpage คาสิโนยูฟ่าเบท
Thanks for good articles. คาสิโนเว็บตรง
ReplyDeletevisit my website now. รีวิวบาคาร่า
I feel like this website because it’s very helpful to know about many things.สล็อตได้เงินจริง.สล็อตขั้นต่ำ1บาท.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate about the website and wonderful topic that so amszing to learn.
ReplyDeleteแทงบาคาร่าเว็บตรงUFABET.แทงบาคาร่าเว็บตรงยูฟ่าเบทที่ดีที่สุด.
Great weblog here! Also your web site lots up very fast! What host are you the usage of? Can I am getting your affiliate hyperlink for your host? I want my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol.dental implants Granville West Edmonton
ReplyDeleteIt’s difficult to get knowledgeable men and women with this topic, and you appear to be what happens you are dealing with! Thanks Jasper Place, Edmonton dentist
ReplyDeleteHey. Very nice web site!! Man .. Excellent .. Wonderful .. I’ll bookmark this web site and take the feeds also…I am happy to locate so much helpful information here within the article. Thanks for sharing… Fairfield Victoria BC dentist
ReplyDeleteIt’s difficult to get knowledgeable men and women with this topic, and you appear to be what happens you are dealing with! Thanks dental implants Edmonton AB
ReplyDeleteWow it's really exciting. I'm glad to know about this information.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวเกมสล็อต
ReplyDeleteSo perfect to kown about this topic.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวเกมสล็อต
ReplyDeleteWow that’s very perfect! It’s interesting and everything are amazing.
ReplyDeleteเล่นเกมไพ่บาคาร่า.แทงบาคาร่าออนไลน์.
The whole world should be pleased to hear about this information.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวเกมสล็อต
ReplyDeleteit looks really good No wonder so many people are interested.รีวิวสล็อตออนไลน์ รีวิวเกมสล็อต
ReplyDeleteGood idea, this topic shows an important knowledge that’s perfect.เดิมพันสล็อต.สล็อตออนไลน์ได้เงินจริง.
ReplyDeleteBravo! This topic is perfect,I think it's really great to read.
ReplyDeleteแทงบาคาร่าออนไลน์.
So pretty good about this title. I can bring this information to develop in my life.สล็อต1บาท.สล็อตได้เงินจริง.
ReplyDeleteGood idea, this topic shows an important knowledge that’s perfect.
ReplyDeleteคาสิโนออนไลน์.
After I learned this topic l get many good experiences.เล่นสล็อต.สล็อตUFABET.
ReplyDeleteWow that’s very perfect! It’s interesting and everything are amazing.ทางเข้าเว็บสล็อต.
ReplyDeleteThat’s sounds interesting I feel excited to known.คาสิโนออนไลน์.ค่ายสล็อตแนะนำ.
ReplyDeletewow ! good article. I would like to read your article more. สมัครบาคาร่า
ReplyDeletethis is my website. เว็บเล่นบาคาร่าดีที่สุด
That's a fantastic idea, I get many knowledges.สล็อตUFABET.
ReplyDeleteGood idea, this topic shows an important knowledge that’s perfect.สล็อต1บาท.
ReplyDeleteWow that’s very perfect! It’s interesting and everything are amazing.
ReplyDeleteเล่นบาคาร่าเว็บตรง
So fantastic topic because information about this website is helpful with everybody.เล่นเกมสล็อตเว็บตรง.ค่ายเกมสล็อตเว็บตรง.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate about the website and wonderful topic that so amszing to learn.รีวิวเว็บสล็อตขั้นต่ำ 1 บาท.เว็บรีวิวเกมสล็อตออนไลน์.
ReplyDeleteRezule offers a vast collection of high-quality products at affordable prices, including electronics, fashion, home, and outdoor gear.
ReplyDeleteEveryday lifestyle essentials
Thanks to blog author for wonderful and informative post. emergency dentist SE Calgary
ReplyDeleteNice to read your article! I am looking forward to sharing your experience.
ReplyDeleteemergency dentist St. Albert
I recently found much useful information on your website. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteemergency dentist St. Albert
Thanks for the blog post buddy! Keep them coming...
ReplyDeleteemergency dentist North Central Edmonton
Gratitude for the blog entry amigo! Keep them coming...
ReplyDeleteDental Implants SW Calgary
I have recently started a blog, and the info you provide on this site has helped me greatly.
ReplyDeleteBest Dentist Southwest Edmonton
It is a great website.. The Design looks very good.. Keep working like that!.
ReplyDeleteNE Calgary dentist
Good to peruse your article! I'm anticipating sharing your experience.
ReplyDeleteSE Edmonton dentist
After I learned this topic l get many good experiences.คิมบับเกาหลี.คิมบับ.
ReplyDeleteThat's a fantastic idea, I get many knowledges. ท่องเที่ยวเกาหลี.ไปเกาหลี.
ReplyDeleteThat’s so nice, Yours website is so very well to view. พันธุ์ปลาน้ำจืด.วิธีเลี้ยงปลา.
ReplyDeleteThat’s so nice, Yours website is so very well to view. เรื่องสยองขวัญ.สิ่งลี้ลับ.
ReplyDeleteGreat to scrutinize your article! I'm expecting to share your experience.
ReplyDeleteScarborough dentist
รีวิว Ford Ranger PLATINUM 2023 สุดยอดกระบะพันธุ์แกร่ง
ReplyDeleteFord Ranger 2023 เป็นรถกระบะขนาดกลางที่เปิดตัวในประเทศไทยในปี 2023 มาพร้อมกับเครื่องยนต์ดีเซล 2.0 ลิตรเทอร์โบชาร์จ 4 สูบ ที่ให้กำลังสูงสุด 210 แรงม้า และแรงบิดสูงสุด 500 นิวตันเมตร ขับเคลื่อนด้วยระบบ เกียร์อัตโนมัติ 10 จังหวะ มีดีไซน์ภายนอกที่ดุดันและทันสมัย มาพร้อมกับไฟหน้า LED ไฟท้าย LED และล้ออัลลอยขนาด 18 นิ้ว ภายในห้องโดยสารตกแต่งด้วยวัสดุคุณภาพสูง มาพร้อมกับเบาะหนังแท้ ระบบปรับอากาศอัตโนมัติ จอแสดงผลแบบสัมผัสขนาด 10.1 นิ้ว และระบบเครื่องเสียงรอบทิศทาง B&O Play
มาพร้อมฟังก์ชันความปลอดภัยที่ครบครัน มาพร้อมกับระบบเบรก ABS ระบบควบคุมการทรงตัว ESP ระบบป้องกันล้อหมุนฟรี TCS ระบบช่วยออกตัวบนทางลาดชัน HLA และระบบควบคุมความเร็วอัตโนมัติ Cruise Control
เป็นรถกระบะอเนกประสงค์ที่เหมาะสำหรับการใช้งานทุกรูปแบบ ไม่ว่าจะใช้งานในชีวิตประจำวัน ออกทริป หรือทำงานหนัก ก็สามารถตอบโจทย์ได้อย่างครบครัน
อ่านเพิ่มเติมได้ที่นี่ : Ford Ranger
I think this is an informative post and it is very useful and knowledgeable.
ReplyDeletedental implants Granville West Edmonton
I value the article.Thanks Again. Much obliged.อิตาลี ของ ฝาก
ReplyDeleteI value the article.Thanks Again. Much obliged.คุกกี้ญี่ปุ่น
ReplyDeleteI value the article.Thanks Again. Much obliged.คาเฟ่สุนัขเข้าได้ ใกล้ ฉัน
ReplyDelete