The short version:
As far as I can tell, the only place to find it is at Rocket Fizz,
which has a store in downtown Vista, near the Cinepolis theater.
The long version: My
two intrepid Assistant Tasters have decided to celebrate our arrival
at a particular point in the Earth's orbit by hosting a party for
their friends at the Lab. Some of these friends were previously
introduced to a delightful Weird soda, Flying Cauldron Butterscotch
Beer, which we reviewed at the Lab back in 2012. Shortly before the
party*, I was informed that these splendid young people were hoping
that more Flying Cauldron would be provided**. Being a Quaffmaster
(even if semi-retired), I assumed that locating a specific Weird soda
would not be difficult.
I turned to our
modern Delphic oracle***, the Google. The Google reported that
several stores indicated that their store was familiar with Flying
Cauldron, a word which here means "have heard of it at one
point, and are pretty sure they'd be able to order it for you with
two weeks lead time". It turns out needing it in 24 hours makes
businesses feel perfectly entitled to add all sorts of extra charges
amounting to it being cheaper to have my own Flying Cauldron brewing
facility constructed.
The manufacturer's
web site is well-constructed, and even has the ability to select a
specific beverage and have stores selling that beverage located. How
lovely.
Of course you can
buy Flying Cauldron in your area!, I was told. There are any number
of stores, all of the "Fresh & Easy" chain, which stock
Flying Cauldron. Here are all the locations within 100 miles of you.
Unfortunately, I
happen to know that the entire Fresh and Easy chain has recently gone
out of business****.
Having concluded
that my quest was in vain, I resigned myself to provide some sort of
lesser butterscotch beverage and throw myself upon the mercy***** of
the teenagers who would be descending on the Lab in six hours.
According to Rocket Fizz's website, they did not have Flying
Cauldron, but did have at least one other butterscotch soda, which
might be adequate, so I went there first (the second try would be
Cost Plus, where they apparently had Dang! That's Good butterscotch
root beer; not my favorite).
Browsing through
Rocket Fizz, I was astonished to come across Flying Cauldron.
Grabbing twelve bottles and snarling ferally at any other customers
who wandered near, I went up to the counter.
"Do you realize
you are the *only* people in North County who stock this?"
The proprietor gazed
at me, a satisfied smile on his face, a calm serenity in his eyes.
"Oh, yes,"
he replied, "yes, we do."
I don't know why
it's not on their website. Perhaps they hope to restrict Flying
Cauldron only to the worthy, who do not seek advice from the Google.
Perhaps they hope to avoid attention from the same shadowy forces
which brought down the Fresh and Easy chain. It's impossible to say.
But given that this blog is read by approximately ten people, I feel
safe in spreading what word I can:
All that is good is
not Googled,
Not all that which
bubbles does boil;
If you seek you
shall not be bamboozled,
Deep quaffing awaits
those who toil.
The cauldron has
flown here in secret--
To Vista, where
stores know their biz;
The Butterscotch
Beer is on fleek yet!
You'll find it at
Rocket Fizz.
* And by "shortly",
I mean "less than 48 hours"
** And by "hoping",
I mean "operating under the assumption, with unspecified but
dire consequences if said assumption proved unfounded"
*** Having the
option to have Google deliver search results in cryptic Delphic
utterances is a very very good idea.
**** I blame ISIL,
and their well-known hatred of butterscotch.
***** I thought I'd
give all the parents of teenagers out there a bit of a chuckle to
start the New Year.
Posts
